Knowing Too Much
by Daviana Roze
Summary: What if Toby had found out about Todd and Lovett's scheme to kill people for meat pies early on?


Knowing Too Much

I fell asleep in Mrs. Lovett's parlor after drinking half a bottle of gin. I woke up some time later to Mr. Todd and Mrs. Lovett talking in the other room.

"Now, we've got a body moldering away upstairs…" Mrs. Lovett mused as she paced the floor of her shop.

"We'll wait till tonight, then take it to some secret place and bury it," Mr. Todd proposed as he sat in a booth, staring at his cup of gin.

Mrs. Lovett stopped pacing half-way across the floor. "Of course, you could do that."

She continued her pacing, this time stopping at the window. She looked out, then started singing softly.

_Seems a down right shame_

"**Shame?"**

_Seems an awful waste_

_What a nice plump frame_

_What's-his-name has, had, *gasps* has_

_Nor it can't be traced_

_Business needs a lift_

_Debts to be erased_

_Think of it as thrift_

_As a gift_

_If you get my drift_

_Seems an awful waste_

_What with the price of meat_

_What it is_

_When ya get it_

_If ya get it_

"**Ah."**

_Good ya got it_

_Take for instance Mrs. Mooney and her pie shop_

_Business never better using only pussy cats and toast_

_Now a pussy's good for maybe six or seven at the most_

_And I'm sure they can't compare as far as taste_

_**Mrs. Lovett, what a charming notion **__/ Well, it does seem a waste_

_**Eminently practical and yet appropriate as always**_

_**Mrs. Lovett, how I've lived without you all these years I'll never know!**_

_**How delectable**__ / Well, it does seem a waste_

_**Also undetectable**__ / Think of all them pies!_

_**Oh, what's the sound of the world, my love**_

_What, Mr. Todd, what Mr. Todd, what is that sound?_

_**Those crunching noises pervading the air**_

_Yes, Mr. Todd, yes, Mr. Todd, yes all around_

_**It's man devouring man, my dear**_

And who are we to deny it in here?

"**What is that?"**

_It's priest_

_Have a little priest_

_**Is it really good?**_

_Sir, it's too good, at least_

_Then again, they don't commit sins of the flesh_

_So it's pretty fresh_

_Awful lot of fat_

_Only where it sat_

_Haven't you got poet or something like that?_

_No you see the trouble with poet is how to you know it's deceased?_

_Try the priest_

There was silence in the room for a few minutes, then they started singing again.

"_Lawyers rather nice"_

_If it's for a price_

_Order something else, though, to follow_

_Since no one should swallow it twice_

_Anything that's lean?_

_Well, then, if you're British and loyal you might enjoy Royal Marine_

_Anyway, it's clean_

_Though of course it tastes of wherever it's been_

_Is that squire_

_On the fire?_

_Mercy no sir, look closer_

_You'll notice it's grocer_

_Looks thicker_

_More like vicar_

_No, it has to be grocer, it's green_

_The history of the world, my love_

_Everybody shaves, so there should be plenty of flavors_

_Is those below serving those up above_

_Save a lot of graves_

_Do a lot of relatives favors_

_How gratifying for once to know_

_That those above will serve those down below!_

They both went to the window and Mrs. Lovett pulled back the curtain.

"What is that?"

_It's fop_

_Finest in the shop_

_Or we've got some shepard's pie peppered with actual Shepard on top_

_And I've just begun_

_Here's the politician so oily it's served with a doily_

_Have one_

_Put it on a bun_

_You never know if it's going to run!_

_Try the friar_

_Fried it's drier_

_No!_

_The clergy is really too course and too mealy_

_Then actor_

_It's compactor_

_Ah, but always arrives overdone_

"_I'll come again when you have judge on the menu"_

Mr. Todd had a butcher's knife to her throat. I almost stepped in, but they started dancing and singing again.

_Have charity towards the world, my pet_

_Yes, yes, I know, my love_

_We'll take the customers that we can get_

_High born and low, my love_

_We'll not discriminate great from small_

_No, we'll serve anyone_

_We'll serve anyone / Meaning anyone_

_And to anyone at all!_

When they were done singing, they parted. Mr. Todd went back to his drink, but Mrs. Lovett came back to the sitting room. I rushed to lay back down as I had been before.

Mr. Todd and Mrs. Lovett continued on as if they hadn't just been singing about killing people to use in their meat pies. I began to relax after a few minutes when Mr. Todd didn't come for me. I was afraid he had seen me.

He had lulled me into a false sense of security. Mr. Todd had seen me, but he didn't tell Mrs. Lovett. He just called me up to his shop late that night, when most of the town was asleep.

"How much did you hear?" he demanded of me.

"N-n-nothing, Mr. Todd, sir," I stuttered.

"You heard enough to know to keep your mouth shut, didn't you, boy!" he roared in my face. I heard Mrs. Lovett's staccato steps coming up the stairs.

"Answer me!" Mr. Todd screamed just as Mrs. Lovett opened the door. She found Mr. Todd with a razor to my throat, ready to cut through my flesh.

"Mr. T, what' brought this on?" Mrs. Lovett just looked puzzled.

"He heard us this afternoon, singing in the shop," Mr. Todd replied, not taking the blade from my throat.

"Easy now, hush, love, hush," Mrs. Lovett cooed and Mr. Todd withdrew his weapon.

"Now, now, dear. Toby here has sense enough not to tell anyone. After all, we're the ones who take care of him. Isn't that right, darling?" Mrs. Lovett advised me.

I just nodded my head.

"Now, you get on down to bed," she ordered me. I gladly obeyed.

As I ran downstairs, taking them two at a time, I heard Mrs. Lovett screaming at Mr. Todd. She was furious at him for threatening me.


End file.
